In Memory of My Mom
My mom passed away at 3AM on Wednesday, February 22nd. Her body was placed in the ground on Thursday, February 23rd at 3PM. We will miss her terribly. She was a wonderful mom. Always joyful, encouraging, and supportive. Life is meant to be shared, not secluded. There are always lessons to be learned, grief to carry together, and hope to be embraced within the Body of Messiah. This month’s letter is in memory of my mom. Mom’s passing wasn’t a surprise. However, losing one’s mom is never really expected. She battled dementia for over 10 years. Her last five years there was little communication. The final two she could only eat and drink with assistance. Some of you reading this letter have experienced the pain of losing a loved one. Death is a part of life. But it’s never easy.
On Death and Burial
When we knew my mom was in her final days my wife and I rushed home to be by her side. My brother (also a believer in Jesus) and I, along with our wives, were there when she died. She was there for our first breath. We were with her for her last. She went peacefully. Our time together with her for the last 36 hours, was a special God-given time. Before her death the Jewish community was already planning and preparing. The rabbi who performed my mom’s funeral is a caring and compassionate man. He is my dad’s rabbi. I have spent a lot of time with him and study with him often. Though he never knew my mom, when he found out about her declining condition he made himself available to help and organize things at the synagogue behind the scenes. After her death, her body was quickly taken to the funeral home and the Chevra Kadisha began their duties. Chevra Kadisha, meaning “burial society,” is a group of Jewish women and men who stay with the body and perform the ritual cleaning and dressing of the deceased. My mom and my dad were both a part of the Chevra Kadisha at our home synagogue. The Chevra first cleanses the body physically before the taharah. The term taharah applies to both the name of the entire rite and to the process of pouring water over the body in a ritual way to cleanse it spiritually. The person is then dressed in tachrichim, or burial clothes. They are the garments in which every Jewish person is dressed, and are hand made
My mom was buried in that traditional Jewish manner.Her body was prepared. She was placed into a plain pine casket. There is no embalming. No viewing. And her body was buried within 24-48 hours of death. It is a quick process. Jesus’ body was prepared in a very similar manner. Jewish burial practices have changed little in thousands of years. When we arrived at the cemetery the rabbi was waiting for us. As people began arriving to the cemetery the rabbi called my brother and I over to perform the Kiriah which is a Jewishexpression of grief. It is the rending of the garments by the mourner prior to the funeral service. The Bible records many instances of rending of the clothes after the news of a death. Jacob, King David, and Job all tore their garments as an expression of grief and pain. As everyone gathered at the cemetery the rabbi brought me, my brother, and members of the family to tear our clothing. My shirt, as well as my brother’s, were cut with a razor blade and then ripped. I will remember that sound forever. The time my shirt was torn to remember my mom’s passing.
Men from the synagogue came to help carry her casket and say the prayers. They didn’t know my mom. It struck me the commitment of those men who took time out of their day to honor my mom, someone they never knew, and to honor the traditions of our people. We gathered at the grave site to remember her, recite the 23rd Psalm, and to recite the Mourners Kaddish which is a prayer, or blessing, that oddly enough never mentions death. Instead it proclaims the greatness of God. By reciting it, mourners show that even in grief we affirm the goodness and sovereignty of God. After the funeral my brother and sister-in-law’s pastor came to their home. About 35 of us thanked God for my mom’s life and praised God for his sovereignty and goodness - in Jesus’ name.
On Life and Afterlife
The first question I get when I tell people I lost my mom, after the statement “I am so sorry for your loss” is, “Did she know the Lord?” It’s a logical first question. My answer is, “I’m not 100% sure, but I have great hope for her soul.” After my parents divorced about 15 years ago, my mom began attending church with my brother and sister-in-law. She heard the message of our Messiah from many, including her sons and daughters-in-law. Not only did she hear the message but saw it lived out in our lives. We do not know what our mom knew or believed. She could not communicate with us. But we have assurance on very important truths from the Scriptures: 1) God makes no mistakes. 2) He is in charge of eternity. 3) The Holy Spirit can work in ways far beyond one’s ability to communicate their faith. We have great hope of seeing her again in Heaven.
On the Continuation of Life
After mom’s passing my wife and I left NC for an already planned getaway to the Caribbean to celebrate her birthday. It’s not often we get away like that. The time was beautiful, relaxing and enjoyable. Little did we know who we would run into by divine appointment Upon arrival we found out that our hotel was connected to a small island, a 15 minute boat ride away. We took that boat ride, arrived and set up on a beautiful beach. Minutes after sitting down we heard Hebrew being spoken! I went over to say hello.
Two Israeli couples were vacationing right beside us. I told them that I was Jewish and a follower of Jesus as Messiah. We had a very polite conversation. They asked several questions about how I came to faith. I shared my testimony and told them how one can be Jewish and believe in Jesus. Wherever we travel we always look to see if there is a local Jewish community. We found out that there is a vibrant Jewish history connected to our Caribbean island and that they have an Orthodox synagogue. We happened to be there during Purim, the Feast of Esther. We discussed going to the synagogue.
During our conversation I found out that they knew the rabbi who buried my mom the week beforehand and that we have many mutual friends. When I told them I was a believer in Jesus they were shocked to say the least. I encouraged them to search the Hebrew scriptures and consider the Jewish prophets. It was quite the divine encounter.
After my mom’s death I was able to share about how I found new life and faith in Jesus as Messiah with 8 Jewish people who do not yet know their Messiah Jesus! We rejoice in the hope we have for eternity. We know that Jesus is who He said He is...the Way, the Truth, and the Life. As long as we breathe we will continue to help others come to know Him. We will continue to share His love, His life, and His salvation with all...to the Jew first. We are regularly sharing our Messiah with Jewish people who have questions and helping others do the same. Thank you for supporting our ministry and outreach as we take the message of Jesus back to the Jewish people locally, to Israel, and around the world.